if there's such a thing...

as being passionate for passion, I think I can be the poster child.

I find myself restless again, it's been 2 years and 9 months in this job... 1 year and 3 months in this marriage... 6 months in this house...

And I find myself thinking, there MUST be more than this... and to it, I hear no answers... just echoes repeating in agreement.

Life was more fulfilling when I was earning less, when I went on mission trips instead of holidays, when I had less programs and more problems, and now... I have a job, a husband, a house and I still find myself seeking... "a void that God will fill if I ask" I hear that model answer surfacing in my head.

IF I ask. I prayed and asked Him what more is there, why others has more prayers answered than me. He replied because they have more prayer needs than you. So is fulfillment a blessing? Or a curse? I don't know.

But life is about to change. New job and hopefully new plans... New things excite me, I like things that are new, is that right? I don't really care. I want a new blog, new photos, new books, most of all... new inspirations... not something that's passed down and second-hand, or something imitated and adapted... No... something original, something inspiring, something that is heard without having to shout.

I found this when looking for CS Lewis quotes online, and it got me... so here,

"To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket — safe, dark, motionless, airless — it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. The alternative to tragedy, or at least to the risk of tragedy, is damnation. The only place outside of Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell."